Energy Boosting

Let's start with something fun.
ReVamp, one of my recently discovered metal bands, released their second album yesterday, and even though my bank account is showing two digit number, I just had to have it immediately. Not least because Floor Jansen who toured with Nightwish for almost a year happens to be the singer-songwriter of the band. To be honest, she is really the only reason I know about ReVamp in the first place.
Anyway, I bought the album and listened through it for the first time yesterday - and it is amazing. Like most of new music, this too requires quite a few rounds of just listening to properly sink in but I'm already really excited about some of the songs.

and here's the cool cover art
Since Floor joined Nightwish I've fallen in love with her more each time I've seen her performing. It's not only her mind-bogglingly rich and versatile, classically trained voice that has completely enchanted me, but also her radiant presence on stage. (Not to mention, that she just looks absolutely gorgeous in her leather and glitter.) She appears so genuinely at home and happy whilst singing with the band that at least I feel like that positive energy is just spreading all around her like first warming rays of sunlight on a cool autumn morning. Or something equally poetic.

Another reason for me personally to find this metal lady inspiring is the way she has discussed her burn-out that forced her on sick leave for quite a while some time ago. Floor has been very open about this issue, and has also explained how some of the songs in the new album directly relate to her time of recovery. Here are the first and second parts of the video.

Normally, I'm not that interested in hearing really defined explanations to the music I listen to, but I'm not opposed to it - especially when the talking is done by such a lovely person as Floor. Moreover, as having started my own treatment for depression, I find Floor's words extremely comforting and relatable. Her style of writing lyrics is a lot simpler and more literal than what I'm mostly attracted to, but honestly, with that voice she could be singing the stock news and I'd be totally blown away.
And perhaps everything doesn't always have to be cryptic and metaphorical to be appreciated. Well, anyway, I think musically Wild Card is a very interesting album.

Recently, I have been drawing a lot of strength from music discovering and rediscovering some old and new favourites. Obviously, Nightwish which is practically a religion to me, has been a major support throughout the summer, and still continues to be. Battle Beast is a new, great discovery. Their music is easy and uplifting with an unbelievably cool attitude - you'd have to see them live to know what I mean. Amorphis has been one of my top choices for ages, and their newest album Circle steadily continues the path of success in my books.
Then, while tidying my cd-stand I came across with Therion's album, Gothic Kabbalah which was a longtime favourite of mine some years ago, but then I guess I just got bored of listening to it. As it happens, they have made more music (and apparently changed singers and other members) in the meantime, and are now back on my playlist as well. Their most recent release, Les Fleurs Du Mal consists entirely of covers of French chansons and pop songs applied to a heavier style, which I think is wicked cool.
For somebody who doesn't listen to metal that much all of these would probably sound really similar but to me each and every one of them is unique and intriguing in its own way, and most importantly I find that this style of music works most effectively whenever I need to calm down or want to take my mind off unpleasant things.

I mentioned depression that I'm now getting treatment for, and although it isn't anything serious I have to admit that there are probably other mental health issues that I will need to tackle in the future as well. What makes this complicated is that the psychiatrist whom I've been seeing for a few times is in Finland while I, from September on, will be in Wales at university, which means that either I find someone over there or I'll be left on my own with the medication. I don't like the idea of not seeing a therapist, but as I don't know how that would  work in practice and what it would cost and whether I'd find someone easy to talk to, I'm more than a little worried about my last year of uni. The thing is, I can see myself at the end of it with the degree certificate in my hand, wearing the silly hat (we do get silly hats, don't we?); I just don't see how exactly I'm going to get there in one piece.
And now hold your tongue because every time someone says "oh, don't fret, you'll do great like you always do" the pressure I put upon myself gets heavier - and also, my need to punch you in the face increases.

What this has to do with the music hype above, is that in the uncertainty of how I'll be able to cope next semester, I'm intentionally gathering and planning things that might possibly help me through it - music being one of the most important ones. Unfortunately I also have to leave my best friend behind so other means to improve my wellbeing are needed.

I don't know about superfoods in general but at least I shouldn't have a lack of any vitamin when I add in my diet some Acai berry powder and Maca powder that I bought with reduced prices last week from a special of event at a Finnish health food shop.

So, you see, I'm taking the 'Project Me' that I talked about last time, seriously. I imagine it's not going to be easy or quick to get better in a wholesome way - not least because I'm still very skeptical about my situation. Meaning, there are times when I feel like I don't deserve or need medical attention because it's all just a massive attitude problem that I should be able to fix just by staying strong and getting over with it instead of being pathetic crybaby.

But I'm working on it. With my vitamins and my aggressive music.

No comments:

Post a Comment