One of the most beautiful

It is a chilly afternoon in the early autumn. People are strolling around, coming and going, talking to each other oblivious of the emotional hurricane twitching and turning inside my chest. I'm standing in front of you, fingers frozen, your hands in mine. I feel so weary that I can't bring myself to guess what's passing through your mind as I observe those eyes of yours that are fixed upon me.

Trying to come up with something conclusive to say before we part, all I end up producing is a rather hysterical laughter. I look into your eyes and hope what I see is light. But I can't be sure if my bandaged heart is merely producing wistful illusions to keep from falling apart just then. Suddenly, swallowing becomes difficult and I sob the words before tears start flowing again.

"I love you too", you whisper back and hug me tight against your chest. My whole body trembles as you walk me to the nearest bench and let me drop my heavy, pounding head on your shoulder until the waterworks stop.

We sit here for a while and it feels as though the world is holding its breath, watching us.

"I really should go now", I say and place a quick kiss on your left cheek. Not the first - nor the last time, I am obliged to admit the weakness of my will, for the three seconds you have squeezed my hand are enough to foil my strategy of a quick departure.

Now I have been absorbed by your oceanic eyes again and nothing else in the universe matters. My mouth says something unintelligible but I can't quite separate the words from each other to figure out their meaning. You chuckle a little so I assume it must have been something comical. Your smile is warm and soothing like a cup of spicy tea in the mid-winter. I could simply sit here for hours just holding your gaze.

As though my limbs had taken control over my brain, I find my fingers brushing your jaw, then slowly tilting your head in an optimal position for my mouth to find yours. For the hundredth time today you are not following my grand plan, and ruin the aimed simple, gentle touch by parting your lips and kissing me back slightly more passionately than I expected.

Something inside me whispers that this is the end but I hush the voice down and let myself get carried away and for once live for the moment.

I'd be happy to die now so that I wouldn't have to face tomorrow.