Day 3 - A photo that makes you happy.

 

I know incredible amounts of photos that could make me a happy and therefore this task felt like impossible to accomplish.

When I started to browse through my images files I found photos from the year 2009. We had participated in a synchro skating competition in Rouen, near Paris and after that spent a day in Disneyland. This photo was taken in front of the entry and I'm there with a friend of mine.

I was really excited about the trip and even though the weather could have been nicer I enjoyed every moment of the Disney magic.

What's more, during this trip I got to know two of my friends better than ever before and the fact that one of them is my girlfriend and the other one of my closest friends is at least partly a result of those five (?) days we spent in France.

Sum-sum-summarizing the Year Of Mercy 2010

Sooo, the almost past year, 2010 has been filled with adventures of all sizes.

I started the year being quite a mess: stressed out and agonized over the realisation of my skating career coming to an end. Of course the change was inevitable and did nothing but good, but at that time I felt like I was led to a room with dozens of doors to choose from except for the one that had just closed behind me. I was confused and afraid of what possibly was waiting for me on the path I'd end up walking. I know I never was all alone and wouldn't even have to ask and my amazing friends would have given me all the support and sympathy in the world. Nevertheless, there are things to be faced and steps to be taken by ourselves, and I considered giving up skating one of those.
However, I'm here, alive and well. And quite a lot happier than a year ago.

Having cleared my head off skates, blades, competitions, coaches, rhinestones and chiffon, I began to find out new sides on both myself and the world around me. Quitting skating didn't change me - it merely showed me something that I had been unable to see before, woke up something that had been sleeping. I'm not sure if I've always had this amount of courage or has it augmented during the previous year. Anyway, now I dare not just dream but make plans as well. What's more, I also dare not to plan everything and no to get overly stressed out of every single thing I come across. I think I'm nowadays a little more spontaneous, open, straightforward and confident than I used to be. (I'm also watching music videos on TV and there's Adam Lambert there now and I'm almost enjoying myself. Should I be worried, guys?)

A song composed by Andrew Lloyd Webber claims that love changes everything. I really don't know about that. Besides, my definition for love may differ from Mr Webber's. Anyhow, being in love surely increases one's hormone levels drastically. At least, my dopamine, endorphin and serotonin supplies seem to be unlimited regardless of the fact that I feel like falling in love again every day. It would also appear that either there are no limits for my capability of cheesiness, or that they are yet to be reached. One thing that has actually changed by - oh, that one great love - is that previously I was sincerely irritated if I had to sleep by anyone's side because of the snoring, snuffing, scrunching and breathing: silent or loud, didn't make a difference. But now, I can't complain even if that special someone is sleeping from only on centimetre's distance of my face. She doesn't snore though, unlike some people. No offence.

And moving on.

Travelling is one my passions and last year I got to visit Berlin, New York, London and Cardiff (and Ipswich!). The Germany trip was made due to a synchro skating competition on February when I was still part of the team. Shopping was fun and relatively cheap and sushi was great.
New York City was something else. First of all the eight-hour flight from Oslo to NY after the ten-hour waiting at the Oslo airport was.. well unforgettable.
Fortunately, I was so excited for being in the city the whole week, I simply ignored the tiredness and jet lag.
I will remember
- the over-the-top, flashing, multi-coloured lights on Broadway
- the huge cookies
- Wicked musical ( <-- THIS THIS THIS FOREVERRRRR)
- the exhausting heat and people jumping in a fountain to cool themselves
- the yellow cabs
- Gay Street sign, rainbow flags and drag queen-thingy shops of Greenwich Village, which made me smile
- juice and smoothie stands everywhere
- the receptionist at the photography museum who said that mine was the coolest outfit he'd seen the whole day
- vintage dresses and extremely friendly salespeople

NYC was great and overwhelming and lots of things and I definitely would go there again  if I had the chance. It's such a huge and lively city I could've explored it a lot longer than six days.

Then London. The whole trip was such a pre-honeymoon, really.
I think there's absolutely nothing I wouldn't remember from our time in the UK.
There are enormous, flashy highlights, of course.
The likes of ..
... JOHN BARROWMAN
... CARDIFF
... FORBIDDEN PLANET
... "You guys fancy each other?" -conversation
... the first impression at the hostel
... the Hard Rock Café guy
... Ipswich
Oh dear. I suppose there's no point of even trying to tell about this trip by using actual sentences and therefore I'm just going to list some (or more) things that will hopefully sum up the ultimate London/Ipswich/Cardiff crazy-geek-trip.
Portobello Road, trains, paninis, Starbucks, crappy films, crappy pillows, peanut butter, cupcakes, Camden Town, Ipswich pub, fangirling, books, action figures, Torchoowd, Doctor Who expedition, cabs, good first impressions, hugging, sunny Cardiff, JOHN BARROWMAN, Spidermen, Hyde Park squirrels, RDJ at Madame Tussauds, Doctor Who Shop, more hugging, more JB, more fangirling and more paninis, and more being two blind and pathetic idjits ....... and the list goes on and on and on.

I want to go back.

An achievement of the year, which can be proved literary is Ylioppilastutkinto, frankly finishing upper secondary. At last! Even more enthusiastic than I'm over getting rid of matriculation exams, I am over applying for further studies in the UK. Unfortunately I'm also pretty stressed over the matter. Nonetheless, my possible near future seems so amazing and scary and friggin' cool I have no words for it. And what would be more brilliant than getting some people with me if, WHEN I leave!

Finally, my wonderful friends deserve once again an enormous hug for being the best friends anyone could ever have. Hooray!

Why the Year of Mercy? Absolutely no clue.

First goodbyes.

I just got home from my last skating practice. We had also dancing and I had to say goodbye to my dance teacher. It was so sad. I really like her so much and she's always positive and crazy (in a good way) and she helps with our injuries and pains. I love dancing and I think it's due to her that the little dancer has woken up inside me again. Her actual profession is a physiotherapist and I've been at her practice many times to be massaged. We always chatted about photographing and my future plans and things like that and I could always be relaxed with her. So she wasn't just another coach but something more and I'm really gonna miss her. Of course I'll see her when I go meet my friends to the ice rinks and competitions but, you know, it's not the same.
Gosh, I so hate goodbyes!

 

Brain explosion

I'm convinced that my head will eventually explode. There's so much going on in my mind that it's just not possible for my brains to bear it. And at the same time it feels like my brain is freezed and absolutely nothing is moving there.
At school I'm restless and not able to concentrate on learning. I just play Bubble Shooter with my iPhone which is really educating as we all know. At home I'm always surfing on the net or lying on a couch watching TV. And I eat all the time. Nothing unhealthy though but still it can't be good, I think. Besides, I've gain weight and that's for me always an unbearable situation. I do sports, of course, but it seems that all of my body's rhytms have gone mad. It's so frustrating as in the last summer I felt awesome and was satisfied with myself. Now I'm tired, fat and my muscles don't work as I'm used to.
I'm also worried about not getting summer-work. I've sent applications for dozens of employers but got only one negative answer. Most of my friends have already been hired and I'm just sending new applications every week like a paranoid idiot.
My biggest stress provoker is not so much surprisingly every-minute-approaching-unavoidable-moment-of-disaster-and-doom-son-of-a-bitch-matriculation-examination. I have like a mountain high pile of things to study and revise before the exams and I'm sure my time will run out.
I'm so freakin' full of this. Studying, studying, studying........ gah.


Fortunately there are always something to cheer me up! Like watching figure skating (or going to Pilates class as I did today). I think it was on Tuesday when I watched the Exhibition Gala of Olympic Games. Oh goodness, they were amazing! Especially Mao Asada, Yu-Na Kim, Mirai Nagasu, Jevgeni Plushenko, Tessa Virtue/Scott Moir, Federica Faiella/Massimo Scali, Meryl Davis/Charlie White and Stephane Lambiel whose program from Europeans is here. It's the same as his Olympics' performance which I couldn't find.

My last days on ice.

Last weekend we had our nationals, the last competition of this season. Also my very last competition as a skater. It was a little bit sad but mostly exhilarating and lots of fun. We enjoyed each other's company and did good. After short we were in third place which was just a little disappointment. It made us willing to fight harder the next day though and the result was awesome for us who have been bronze-medalists since forever: the second place! We were all satisfied and proud and this was really a great closing for the amazing season. So, now I'll have still two more practises with this team and then I'll kiss my skates goodbye.
I feel I'm gonna miss all these people with whom I have lived such happy, bitter and crazy moments. Thanks to them I've had strength to fight and survive all my depressed days. With them I've been able to rejoice at every thing worth rejoicing. I've grown up with my skates, team mates and coaches. I've learned to work hard and handle disappointments. I've learned to take critic and analyse myself. I've become a fighter.
I bet I'm gonna cry a river next Sunday when I'll be "a mystic" for the last time.

Great morning

It's been an excellent day so far and I'd like it to continue.

First thing to do after waking up was to check the results for Olympics' ice dance. Happily my faves the Canadian couple Tessa Virtue/Scott Moir and the American couple Meryl Davis/Charlie White had gotten the best medals and left the Russians in the third place. I've not yet watched their programs but I recorded them and will see them later. 

Meryl Davis/Charlie White here.















Another thing that made my morning such a lovely one was a yoga practice, Hot Vinyasa which took 90 minutes. I'm so in love with yoga since last summer when I discovered it, especially hot yoga which is just normal hatha yoga in 30-40 degrees. It's awesome! I can relax my mind and feel the power and strength of my body. After an exercise I can almost hear the blood rushing through my vessels and the energy flowing. LOVE IT.

When I got back home I cooked some couscous with veggies.

Here we go with carrots, zucchini, green soy beans and tomatoes.
I think it was yummy. I'm not a spice master though...

Stuck

I don't know what to think or do. I meant to quit my nine years lasted synchro skating "career" after this years nationals. That is in the next weekend. But now it seems that I'll have to prolong my i'm-here-stuck-in-between-the-skating-and-the-non-skating-state-and-i'm-tired -feeling which kinda bugs me...
And here's the thing, we'll perform a week after the last competition and after that have sort of a closing party for season 09-10. So, I believe that I'm supposed to be a part of the team for that particular week. yay... not so much.

My problem here is not so much the performing since I like to do it but the training without a real motivation . I always need a goal, a reason why I do whatever I do and that's been missing for a while with skating. I do not love to skate anymore, not as much as I used to and I feel like training five times a week is a waste. I wouldn't want to feel like this but I can't help it. I'd love to still enjoy skating even though I know it's going to end soon. However, I cannot and it's really bothering me.
I'm quite sure I could quit right after the nationals, though. It's just that I don't want to look like I didn't care or that I'm special or something. I don't want to let the others down. I need to do this right. It's not like I owe anything to anyone, though.