I don't know what to think or do. I meant to quit my nine years lasted synchro skating "career" after this years nationals. That is in the next weekend. But now it seems that I'll have to prolong my i'm-here-stuck-in-between-the-skating-and-the-non-skating-state-and-i'm-tired -feeling which kinda bugs me...
And here's the thing, we'll perform a week after the last competition and after that have sort of a closing party for season 09-10. So, I believe that I'm supposed to be a part of the team for that particular week. yay... not so much.

My problem here is not so much the performing since I like to do it but the training without a real motivation . I always need a goal, a reason why I do whatever I do and that's been missing for a while with skating. I do not love to skate anymore, not as much as I used to and I feel like training five times a week is a waste. I wouldn't want to feel like this but I can't help it. I'd love to still enjoy skating even though I know it's going to end soon. However, I cannot and it's really bothering me.
I'm quite sure I could quit right after the nationals, though. It's just that I don't want to look like I didn't care or that I'm special or something. I don't want to let the others down. I need to do this right. It's not like I owe anything to anyone, though.

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